Finding Worth in the Middle of the Earth: 7.23.2017

I woke up this morning with a plan. Not necessarily a firm one or even one that can be achieved in one day but a plan nonetheless. I realized that in order to achieve this happiness that I’m after, it can’t be without some discourse. I mean who do I think I am? In life there has to be pain and I give advice like this to people all the time but never take it myself. Not necessarily knowing the direct path I should follow or even if this is a path I want to start but I am ready for the challenge either way. So many times in our lives we get soooo so caught up with the future and seeing our lives 5 or even 10 years from now. By doing that we are causing ourselves to not really enjoy the day or the present! I’m going to take it day by day….

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Whispers controlled. 

“Slightly disrupted from this uncomfortable situation. Why would she do that ? Trust ? What happened to that, I thought I could depend on her and I thought she loved me? Disappointed is how I feel.” That’s all he could think, all he could muster up was a million questions with no answers as he catches his mom in the most uncomfortable situation.  ( More coming soon ) 

Finding Worth in the Middle of the Earth: 7.16.2017

A week of stress and deadlines that are being met but barely. I’m still shining more than my peers (Beyoncé comes to mind) but is it enough? Life just keeps handing me thankless opportunities to grow and develop the type of professional I want to be but do I want to be a “professional” maybe I just want to be creative! Then again, I do like making money, sometimes too much or maybe not enough. I have associates that are making the big bucks but are they happy? It reminds me of a phrase that one of my professors use to utter, ” Money can only buy happiness , if the happiness you after can be bought.” It’s time to take steps, steps to achieving and being all I want to be. All I want to be is…..

Finding Worth in the Middle of the Earth- 7.9.2017

Finally!! A weekend not filled with emergencies and headaches but Monday is tomorrow.  So of course that means another day of hard-work and surprises. Let’s just hope I can manage. I’ve been searching a lot lately, searching for the thing that brings me joy and how I can share that with the world, how I can utilize it position myself for growth. It doesn’t have to be money or the perfect job but something. I mean others look at my life and think I have a pretty good handle on things and I mean I do. I’m in a great relationship and I have great friends and some family support. But what’s missing? The days never seemed this short before. I never seemed this short before, temper rises and then settles at the drop of a dime. Clarity. Something to bring blue skies to this cloudy day. The clouds drop and settles on the ground like fog and I’m missing….

Daily Prompt: Jangle

Walking across the room, all she can here is the jangling of his keys. She fears that he’s drunk again and he’s looking to start trouble. Luckily, she dropped the kids off earlier that night to stay with their grandmother. She thinks to herself, ” I’m really getting tired of this, but if I’m really tired why don’t I leave.” She blames finances and the kids needing their father in their lives but how can she continue to let this happen to her. Jangle, jangle the sound is getting closer and she doesn’t know what to do.  via Daily Prompt: Jangle

Spiritual Journey: Searching

Searching…searching for the peace that passes all understanding in the midst of fog. The world we live in has been plagued with the darkness that we have launched ourselves in, the pain that we know all to well. Are we ready for this searching to end or will it ever end? This spiritual journey is not paved with easiness but with obstacles that we all most overcome in order to be spiritually connected to God, to each other, to ourselves.  Faith is something that we all struggle with, when faced with the many challenges in life, we cannot give up but instead be encouraged. Encourage not only yourself but others to stick to this journey. We are all facing things that could break us but it won’t because searching for that peace means that we haven’t decided to give up just yet.

Finding Worth in the Middle of the Earth-6.25.2017

4AM?! Yep that’s the time I had to get up today because of another issue on that thing sitting on my nightstand. That thing that has us all hypnotized by it’s sleek metal and glass melding together to create our planners, “lives”, relationships! Oh how I wish I could throw this fine piece of glass and metal against the wall. Woken up again with the same old story and maybe that’s what the issue is, it’s the same old story some days change others remain the same but here I am again caught in this rhyming game. I know that there is more out there because who would’ve imagined this little piece of glass and metal running our whole lives, who would’ve dreamt it?! I tell you who, a rich son of a… There is so much that I can achieve but am I ready for it, being a little fish in this big pond (boring analogy, I know) can be so annoying. The potential lies within me, it lies within us all but taking that next step can sometimes be frightening especially at 4am…

Finding Worth in the Middle of the Earth -6.18.17

Starting over yet again, looking out the window of my life watching so many people walk past my little stone wall. Is this really what all these years of school was for? To just sit by a window wandering about my career path, my “life” . Ohhh I’m so tired of this unnecessary push for perfection that I plague myself with everyday. Can I blame anyone but myself for this? Is there anyone else to blame for this really? Yes, I could look at society I mean it helps to shape us all or at least shape what we think the idea of “all” is. But maybe it’s time…

The Successful Failure

What is your definition of success?

Each day I wake up with a new idea, a new dream, and aspiration only to realize that just like leaves on a tree they all blow and wither away. Am I not thinking hard enough or trying hard enough. Or maybe it’s my dreams, maybe they aren’t good enough maybe I’m trying to achieve something that just isn’t for me. Could it be? Could it be that all this time I was just living in the clouds about my abilities and talents. I wonder, I wonder if I’m really mean to do great things or am I just great at mediocrity. For real! Have you ever asked yourself the same questions? What were your answers? I don’t know maybe this liquor has me feeling a way, has caught up in my feelings as I long for hope and a place to stay. Wanting someone to believe in me and to take my words as truth and light to see my ideas and invest in me with time and patience. To understand that I’m just trying to make a living, just trying to find the way or could it be that this is the way. Too many glasses of this cheap chardonnay has me feeling as if I could live for centuries and die in days. Can I? Will it let me? Will I be able to escape this mundane existence I’ve created for myself, locked away in an office everyday typing away about people’s lives that are more exciting than mine. People who actually achieved things and who get paid for it, people who climb mountains and have seen seas. While I sit here hoping to achieve the same, what is hope? What is hope if I can’t bring it to fruition, If  I can’t swim the sea, If I can’t–I just cant! I can’t do anything but sip this wine and think of the dream never realized, what type of life is this to live in this office everyday, glancing at people who have no sympathy. They don’t care about the things that bother me. They don’t understand me! What success have I achieved if all I do is interview people about the exciting shit they do?! None. That’s the answer, then I think to myself, ” I really look crazy right now, talking to this glass of wine”. But oh well.

Lover of the Dollar($ign$ of the Time$)

Luxe Life
Luxe Life

In today’s society we glorify money or at least the idea of it. We all want the ability to buy what we want and go where we want. I honestly believe there is nothing wrong with wanting this “luxe life”, the wrong only comes from loving this luxe life. Those who have money(like are rich, wealthy, comfy) are essentially financially happy but they often take that as true happiness. True happiness can’t be achieved by wealth but it is happiness when you only have $0.25 Cents in your pocket. Working hard and achieving financial success is a goal of all of ours or at least the financial part is because some people don’t want to work hard. We look at shows like The Kardashians, Gossip Girl, 90210, where money is literally falling out of people’s ass (like literally). These shows have fooled us into thinking that this is achievement and that is not the case. If you want to be “rich” so that you can drive a Porsche then, merp, by all means take your advice from Kim K.  If you want to be “rich” so that you can pay off your student loans and take care of your family, work your ass off.  2nd Timothy 2:3 states( Oh Lord, he’s going to the Bible),People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive… Basically, don’t love money because it is not promised nor are the material things you can get with it.  So my advice to you is to love the life not the money.