Reinvigorated to continue forward although the finish line isn’t right around the corner. Its close enough to view and that is worth taking note. Prepared for the week and what it could bring and ready for the obstacles and busyness that will trail. Today I’ll be short in saying that everything works together for good even when it’s hard to see the good.
A long weekend, celebrating the exact thing that we have no choice but to do. I realized the petrichor coming from the night before, a light faint rain left a mild scent on this humid day. I spent time with the one I love, trying to avoid the sun while barbecuing and enjoying this unwelcoming heat. In my mind I am constantly reminded of the next chapter of my life and career but I am finishing my current one. I wish that I could bypass these few pages because I am tired of the incompetence of the mundane day that affects me from 9am-6pm.
However, I understand that it can’t happen over night so I am patient and prayerful hoping that it soon will come to fruition in my life. Being confident in what the day could bring because there are others worse off than I. Although, there are many other journeys I could’ve traveled I believe that God places us on the path that we need to be on in order to grow and overcome the obstacles that will arise. How can we have a testament if we have never been through a test? Happy Labor Day…
Finally…. I’ve taken that first step towards something. The something that will make a difference in my life and afford me the balance and the passion that I’ve searched for.
All in God’s timing is what I tell myself, I have to remain patient and wait on this blessing. I know it’s going to be difficult and stressful but what in life worth having isn’t. I see the light, I feel like I have a plan I can stick to and a plan that I can actually achieve. Goals. We all have them, we all fight for them, for that dream to become fruition. This may not be my dream but it is a step towards that. And for that I am grateful. I’ve had this mantra I’ve been repeating to myself all week, day by day….
Uncommon. That word keeps making it’s way in my life in some shape or form, whether through ads on the internet or even the name of competition in the industry I’m in. Uncommon can have so many negative connotations but why would anyone want to be common anyway? Wouldn’t they want to be uncommon? I want to be uncommon. Special. Unique. Unlike any other. That’s why it is so necessary for me work towards the life and the success I see for myself. I cannot allow myself to continue to dwell in commonality.
I want to make a difference, change a life, inspire a generation and lead a generation. My impact doesn’t have to be in a major way but I am who believes any impact at all is major. So many things going on in my personal life friend and work wise, I’ve been given some clarity. However, that clarity is quickly eclipsed by the destruction going on in our country. Not necessarily destruction of things but destruction of the moral fiber and values I believe this country stands on.
We are all aware of the numerous incidents going on in our world and all I have to say is this isn’t uncommon, this has happened before and in many places before, it’s just now broadcasted through various media forms. I want to be uncommon in the way that Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, John F. Kennedy, and countless others were.
4AM?! Yep that’s the time I had to get up today because of another issue on that thing sitting on my nightstand. That thing that has us all hypnotized by it’s sleek metal and glass melding together to create our planners, “lives”, relationships! Oh how I wish I could throw this fine piece of glass and metal against the wall. Woken up again with the same old story and maybe that’s what the issue is, it’s the same old story some days change others remain the same but here I am again caught in this rhyming game. I know that there is more out there because who would’ve imagined this little piece of glass and metal running our whole lives, who would’ve dreamt it?! I tell you who, a rich son of a… There is so much that I can achieve but am I ready for it, being a little fish in this big pond (boring analogy, I know) can be so annoying. The potential lies within me, it lies within us all but taking that next step can sometimes be frightening especially at 4am…
Each day I wake up with a new idea, a new dream, and aspiration only to realize that just like leaves on a tree they all blow and wither away. Am I not thinking hard enough or trying hard enough. Or maybe it’s my dreams, maybe they aren’t good enough maybe I’m trying to achieve something that just isn’t for me. Could it be? Could it be that all this time I was just living in the clouds about my abilities and talents. I wonder, I wonder if I’m really mean to do great things or am I just great at mediocrity. For real! Have you ever asked yourself the same questions? What were your answers? I don’t know maybe this liquor has me feeling a way, has caught up in my feelings as I long for hope and a place to stay. Wanting someone to believe in me and to take my words as truth and light to see my ideas and invest in me with time and patience. To understand that I’m just trying to make a living, just trying to find the way or could it be that this is the way. Too many glasses of this cheap chardonnay has me feeling as if I could live for centuries and die in days. Can I? Will it let me? Will I be able to escape this mundane existence I’ve created for myself, locked away in an office everyday typing away about people’s lives that are more exciting than mine. People who actually achieved things and who get paid for it, people who climb mountains and have seen seas. While I sit here hoping to achieve the same, what is hope? What is hope if I can’t bring it to fruition, If I can’t swim the sea, If I can’t–I just cant! I can’t do anything but sip this wine and think of the dream never realized, what type of life is this to live in this office everyday, glancing at people who have no sympathy. They don’t care about the things that bother me. They don’t understand me! What success have I achieved if all I do is interview people about the exciting shit they do?! None. That’s the answer, then I think to myself, ” I really look crazy right now, talking to this glass of wine”. But oh well.
In today’s society we glorify money or at least the idea of it. We all want the ability to buy what we want and go where we want. I honestly believe there is nothing wrong with wanting this “luxe life”, the wrong only comes from loving this luxe life. Those who have money(like are rich, wealthy, comfy) are essentially financially happy but they often take that as true happiness. True happiness can’t be achieved by wealth but it is happiness when you only have $0.25 Cents in your pocket. Working hard and achieving financial success is a goal of all of ours or at least the financial part is because some people don’t want to work hard. We look at shows like The Kardashians, Gossip Girl, 90210, where money is literally falling out of people’s ass (like literally). These shows have fooled us into thinking that this is achievement and that is not the case. If you want to be “rich” so that you can drive a Porsche then, merp, by all means take your advice from Kim K. If you want to be “rich” so that you can pay off your student loans and take care of your family, work your ass off. 2nd Timothy 2:3 states( Oh Lord, he’s going to the Bible),People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive… Basically, don’t love money because it is not promised nor are the material things you can get with it. So my advice to you is to love the life not the money.